Daily Sacred Practices

Yesterday I watched a video on sacred practices that highlights one of the most important things us chronic babes need to embrace and put into action:  self-care.  You can watch the video HERE.  The most difficult thing on my list?  Saying no on the days I'm just too spent.  While actually saying no has gotten a bit easier, the guilt is taking a tad longer to fall away.  Other items on my wellness list.....

• I complete a self-Reiki session upon waking each morning and before I go to sleep at night.  It's wonderfully relaxing, and coupled with meditation, it's part of my daily spiritual practice.  Since getting my level 1 attunement I am also able to share the light with others who might need it for a bad knee, an earache, and any number of other discomforts.   (animals included!)  ...and giving back always feels good!
• Music...I could not live without it, and I listen to all kinds.  It is as much a part of my day as eating.
• Writing and journaling are crucial for giving form to the noise in my mind and trying to bring the monkeys under control.
• Gentle stretching helps deal with the morning stiffness brought on by the arthritis, and the eventual goal is to get into an actual yoga class that is appropriate for my level of ability and mindful of my physical challenges.  
• Swimming.....it's one of the best exercises for those living with arthritis.  I'm in the process of pricing various places so this can be part of my regimen at least 3 times a week.
• Hot shower in the morning; a hot bath at night.  A must for stiff and hurtin' joints.  In combination with the stretching, this is the single most important thing I physically do for myself.
• Emmet and Onslow....playing with my two furry four-legged children is just fun!  And these cats make me smile, laugh, and give so much love it makes my heart grow bigger.
• Never underestimate a home-cooked meal.  Nutrition is key.  I love to cook and I love to frequent local farmstands.  Whipping up a good, "clean" meal with local ingredients makes me sing on a number of levels.
• Reading...always reading....to improve my writing, and just for love of words and literature.  
• Play with images and art-making....whether I'm researching a particular photographer/artist, or creating my own paintings and taking my own photos....keeping quiet isn't an option.  I need to do this.

Below is a photo of my list of daily sacred practices.  I keep one on my nightstand.  On the Fridge.  On my desk.  Taped up in the bathroom.  And on my phone.  (Need to put one in my car....)  Having the constant visual reminder is a way to keep oneself accountable.

One Shot Five Ways: Self-Portrait Series 1

"inhale.  exhale.  repeat."

"Prayer is you speaking to God.

Meditation is allowing the spirit to speak to you."

     ~ Deepak Chopra

"sky above me

earth below me

fire within me"

"Quiet the mind, and the soul will speak."

"The thing about meditation is:   You become more and more you."  ~David Lynch

Work in Progress

I am now elbow-deep in the creation of my Path...the journey of purpose I wrote about HERE.   

It has taken a form quite different from the previous two and it feels so magical to me, this tiny journal filled with heart.  The original black covered sketch journal I had chosen didn't "fit" so I went on a search one day while in Hanover and found a small green one--handmade paper cover and pages; a page marker made of raffia with a round wooden bit hanging from the end.  

Many things will be tucked away in the pages of this journal...hopes and dreams and fears and photos; and three pieces of heavy cardstock that correspond to the areas of my current focus:

A Starfish for wellness and regeneration....the past two years have been difficult.....bad insurance/no insurance, medications, and a body I no longer recognize.  It's time to nourish and tend.

The Phoenix to mark a new beginning in work and livelihood....a chance to make a difference.

A Heart Tree for growth and love....growth happens in relationship, not in isolation.

This is a work in progress and will take perhaps another week or two to finish.  Then it will become a tool for use during meditation, and a guide to draw on during practical application.  

And when she arrives I will give it to her.  My heart to read and hold and touch...

Purpose and Reinvention, Part 3

I'm always thinking about travel.  The value of it.  I'm thinking about it now in relation to my forthcoming graduate work and long-range goals.  I thought for so long that what I wanted was a career within the hallowed halls of academia.  A number of things have since changed my mind about that, not the least of which is the fact that it's getting more and more difficult to find that kind of work.  

I have always been clear that, while my mind and general personality tends towards research efforts, I don't want my work to stay within the Ivory Tower.  Being out in the community, and bringing good is what is most important.  So I had this idea:

While watching the Roo Panes video "Open Road" I thought....how magnificent.  What about traveling the US...the World.....in my own version of a hep little vehicle....collecting stories.  Working in communities.  Creating an environment where stories can be told, tended, collected, and treasured.  For healing.  For empowerment.  I'd go where most needed. 

What/whose stories needed witnesses?  

What stories need retelling/re-tooling?

As I teach and assist, I embody my own story…..

http://tinyhouseblog.com

What about that tiny house on a trailer that I can pull to wherever it's needed?  Sustainability and Roma roots all at once.  A new sort of bard…educator…creator…collector…mirror for the ages…

There is no agony like bearing an untold story inside of you. —Maya Angelou

If stories come to you, care for them. And learn to give them away where they are needed. Sometimes a person needs a story more than food to stay alive. —Barry Lopez

Purpose and Reinvention, Part 2

Back when I created that first Path and was undergoing such tremendous change, I stumbled across a book titled Soulcraft:  Crossing into The Mysteries of Nature and Psyche.  A work devoted to helping one find his/her soul purpose, it has been invaluable during my own dark nights.  A great work of poetry and psychology, literature and spirituality, my copy is dog-eared and filled with even more book marks.  

One of my favorite poems included in the volume is by writer and psychotherapist Morgan Farley.  I read it aloud and meditate with it whenever I stand at another beginning.

I am clearing a space--

here, where the trees stand back.

I am making a circle so open

the moon will fall in love

and stroke these grasses with her silver.

I am setting stones in the four directions,

stones that have called my name

from mountaintops and riverbeds, canyons and mesas.

Here I will stand with my hands empty,

mind gaping under the moon.

I know there is another way to live.

When I find it, the angels

will cry out in rapture,

each cell of my body

will be a rose, a star.

If something seized my life tonight,

if a sudden wind swept through me,

changing everything,

I would not resist.

I am ready for whatever comes.

But I think it will be

something small, an animal

padding out from the shadows,

or a word spoken so softly

I hear it inside.

It is dark out here, and cold.

The moon is stone.

I am alone with my longing.

Nothing is happening

but the next breath, and the next...

Purpose and Reinvention, Part 1

Just about ten years ago when I was coordinating a program for families who had children with chronic health conditions, I created my first life path with the assistance of colleagues.  Although it is a tool for working with folks who are developmentally disabled as a means of helping them achieve their biggest and best life goals, I have since adapted it to suit my own needs and artistic inclinations. 

That initial path was created on banner paper and stretched over five feet.  A colleague served as scribe, and she and others guided me through questions aimed at helping me to get my vision down in words and images....where I wanted to be...who I wanted with me.  I no longer have that piece of art, but it did hang in my apartment for several years.  It provided inspiration during a very difficult period of transition and questioning, and it kept me on track.   Here is a drawing that illustrates the basics of putting one together in the same manner I was helped.  (Click on image to view larger)

Several years ago I created another Path.  One that I could touch and hold;  a mission statement for my life that I carried in my pocket, wherever I went.  I look at it now as I write, and I’m still amazed by just how much this works.  The idea is that thoughts become words....and writing words down and getting them out into the universe, coupled with intention....makes things happen.  As I discovered, however, dreams don't always have to be represented by words or static images.  During my meditation one day I came up with this:

This is my version of prayer beads; a magical cord of intention.  I thought long and hard about what was important to me at the time and though I was unhappy with my employment, it was my living situation that really cried out to be mended.  I wanted my own space.  I wanted water and trees.  I wanted quiet to write and think.  To garden.  The pewter leaf, blue beads, seed pod, and lone green gemstone correspond to these desires.  At the time, being able to bring the dream into fruition was intimately tied to my health (ankh), ability to create, and perhaps find love (heart); to listen to and truly embrace my uniqueness, all that I was becoming--red/orange bead, tribal mask--wild feminine, shell--the power and fierceness of the sea, bell--a reminder in the stillness.  I did write a piece to go along with these prayer beads, but I am hard-pressed to find it.  No matter.  That chapter is closed.  

I lived in my cottage by the lake for two and a half years, and listened to the loons at night.  I grew flowers.  I read books and wrote and drank tea.  I cooked meals for friends.  And when I got sick, I rested there.  And I thought long and hard yet again....what next?

I had to leave that cottage a year ago, but it is just now that I am able to start creating another Path.  I have already traveled down some of it.  But now is the time to really focus, to make and do....to give shape.  

Health and Well-being  is one area of importance this time around.....I think of the starfish and its ability to grow another arm if one is severed.  This metaphor will be my guide.

Work and Purpose  are foremost in my mind.....getting back to it....doing what matters.  I can't do what I did before,  but I can be like the phoenix....I can begin anew.  And this time, I choose to act from a place of highest good.

My heart  is tugging for equal weight these days.  Maybe even more than Work and Purpose.  But heart matters are not easy in this world.  Still, I think about relationship and the human journey….the courage and faith...risks....light within dark; dark within light....all the wild running and quiet moments....the possibility of kind eyes and soft hands as stars beat and pulse.  So I am creating a book.

Maybe more a journal than a book.  Filled with quotes and images and thoughts; dreams and hopes and fears.  Containing Work and Purpose.  Health and Well-being.  Me.  My heart to hold.  To give her when she arrives.